Where is Home?

Lately I’ve been reading about the town where I grew up.  There have been a lot of changes to the carefree mountain area which has turned into a suburbia of large homes, mini mansions and townhouses – where there used to be fields of amusement.

I think a lot about my memories from there. These memories are bittersweet.  I was blessed to have lived on such a beautiful lake, and enjoyed the great outdoor activities: boating, swimming, water skiing, ice skating, sledding and snowmobiling.

There were happy times, there were sad times… but it was all part of growing up. To me this had always been home. But we moved from there when I was a teenager, so this can’t be home.

After we moved to another state, wherever Mom and Dad lived was home.  But they have both passed on, their houses long gone. So that can’t be home either.

Years later, married and raising my children was home.  But they have grown and now have houses and families of their own. We sold that house after they grew up, so that can’t be home.

In addition to thinking about the past, I have been thinking about the future – to the place in which I desire to live. But I am not there yet. So that can’t be home.

As I sit thinking about the past and future, I am certainly not fully here – so this place can’t be home either.

So where is home?

Is home the place of my childhood?

Is home the place my parents lived?

Is home the house where I raised my children?

Is home the place where I desire to live?

Is home the place where I am living in now?

Just where or what is home?

It is said that “Home is where the heart is.”

My heart is with my grandchildren, who live hours away from me. I miss them terribly and desire to spend more quality time with them. Is that home?

My heart is in my past memories of raising my children. Is that home?

My heart is in my husband and my family and those I love and cherish beyond words. Is that home?

All of this thinking of home, brings a yearning for something I can’t quite express or name. A feeling of being lost or forgotten. A feeling of being no-where.

And then I sit in deep mediation, and I realize that home is none of those places.

Home is where I am. Home is who I am.

Home is at the center of our being.

Home is a feeling of contentment.

Home is not a place from the past or a destination in our future.

It is not a building or a town. It is not about another being or relationship. Those are all temporary things.

Home is eternal, it is where and who I am inside of me.

Reminiscing about the past and wishing towards the future fractures and scatters our energy.

It’s almost like breaking the energy into strands.  One to the left,  one to the right, depleting what is in the center – at our core.

Days, weeks and months go by and we may realize, I have not been “here”. I have not been “home”.

When we live too much in the past or future, time seems to surge ahead and we miss those precious now moments that are happening all around us.

It is a choice to pull back our energy, to step into the now moment. To become one with our center.

It is a choice to move from no-where to now-here.

So how do we get home?

One way is with our breath. Become conscious of your very next breath and feel yourself come back into your center.

Another way is to consciously feel your feet on the ground.

Another way is with deep meditation.

Another way is in living with gratitude.

Another way is in looking for beauty all around you.

Living fully aware and vibrantly, we find that Home is not a place one can find on the map.

Home is where I AM.

Where the I AM is that is Love resides in me.

Where is Home?

It is inside us.

What is Home?

Home is Love.

How do we go home?

We don’t go. We are.

We love.